Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Teen SuicidePrevention

 
Teen Suicide Prevention
By Alexandra-Leigh Bailey
Teen suicide is the leading cause in teenage deaths. The age group which this effects it 15 to 25. This is very serious; most people do not worry about the problem until it’s too late to do anything. Even more worrying, suicide is the fourth leading cause in children 10 to 14. 


Causes:
As there are many reasons as to what can cause someone to feel the need to kill themselves, Most teens kill themselves due to Depression, feeling alone, like a burden. Feeling like the only way out is to end your life. Some kids do it because of parent getting a divorce, Violence in the home. Feeling like they fail at school, feeling worthless. Substance abuse, which becomes an addiction, like self-harm. They also could be rejected by their friends, or other kids. The teen or child could get bullied to the point in which they feel completely dead inside and they have nothing else to lose. Or they could have had a death of someone close to them that they couldn’t handle, or the suicide of another friend or someone from the internet they feel they know.
Warning signs:
Some warning signs, one whom talks about death and suicide, it could be in a joking manner. [if I may say something, just because they talk about death doesn’t mean they are suicidal, but it never hurts to keep an ear out.] The dramatic change in personality, with draws from interaction with friends and family. Signs of depression, most of the time this is a sign not always. Attempts and has attempted in the past.  Expresses that no one cares for them. Becomes reckless and signs of substance abuse. Plans ways to kill themselves and give personal belonging away to loved ones. Spends time online interacting with people who glamorize suicide and maybe even form suicide pacts.
[Okay the last one kind of makes me angry, I am Goth so I talk about death and stuff like that, I spend a great deal of time on the internet, that doesn’t mean I am suicidal. Neither does the fact that I wear all black and I’m Goth] 


How to Prevent:
Talk to your teen, or teen whom, is thinking about killing themselves.  Getting them help is what most people think is right. I am a teen ager myself and I’ve thought about suicide myself. Getting me help is not what I would want; I would want one person to take the time to understand why I want to end my life. I’m sure most of the kids out there think the same thing. Sometimes it’s a cry for help. So instead of making your child or friend get forced help, talk to them and understand what’s going on. Try to talk to them, and if nothing else call the suicide hotline. But try to understand first then offer them a therapist.


How to cope for teens and parents:
If you lost a friend, this is where I can relate. I lost a friend, maybe not to suicide, No one knows why he died, and we know the cause. But if he really did. The pain is, indescribable. Even though you’ll cry and be depressed, you have to remember, they loved you. So you have to put on a brave face, even though you’ll feel like crying. There are steps to healing; you just have to be ready to. The pain will never go away, I can promise that.
Take up a hobby, for me I do art and I take photos because Matthew was a photographer and I hope one day I will be as good as him. Talk about it, how you feel and how it affects you on a daily basis. FRIENDS, trust me those people will know what you’re going through and stand with you. I talk about matt as if he were still alive. Because (now don’t think I’m crazy), but I believe very strongly in the paranormal, and he visited me. He told me, to not cry, to not grieve. So I stopped, I do cry every now and again but then I talk about him as if he were still here and it helps.  Now, don’t pretend your friends aren’t gone. I can’t tell you exactly what to do to heal, but I can only give you some advice.  Then my advice isn’t even exact, you’ll always wonder why? Well, just live your day to day life, and try not to think about it. Most importantly, if you can’t handle the pain, talk to someone you trust about it.

If you lost a child, the death is unbearable, Knowing your child is no longer with you, is so painful. It’s harder than any death you could imagine. Even though the pain will never go away there are ways to heal. One way is time. Even though you may think that it’s the end of the world, it’s not. Time heals all wounds, but you just have to be willing to heal. I’m sure your child doesn’t want you to cry over them. They would want you to smile and be happy. Knowing why your child did this, it a step to healing. I know what you’ll want to do is cry, that won’t bring them back. Nothing will, it’s a sad fact. But If you put on a strong face, and talk to people that will help.
Make sure you find people to talk to, dealing with a suicide can be isolating for a family, friend often don’t understand.  Remember that your other family members are upset also, everyone expresses loss in their own way. Expect that anniversaries, birthdays, and holidays may be difficult. Important days and holidays often remind you of your lost. Feeling like it’s your fault is common and you’ll always wonder why it happened, and that you never saw warning signs. But you have to forgive yourself and your child. There are support groups to help you get through this.



I realize this isn’t the best but, if you really need a “professional” then go search it up. I have researched this topic, and I’ve lived it. So who is better? Someone who thinks they know Teen Suicide or a teen ager who lives through this on a day to day basis? I have thought about killing myself many a time and I use to cut. But the more you think about suicide it becomes an addition, to think about. You may not believe me, but you never know unless you’ve been there, and I’m sure I’ll get people who will email me telling me I don’t know what I’m talking about and I shouldn’t talk unless I have a degree. That’s where I call you arrogant, and tell you to get to know me before judging me. I know what I’m talking about, been like this since I was 10. For those who found this helpful, I hope I can hear your story, if you have one and would like to share it.
The wonderful artist whom the picture belongs to
(first picture)
Another wonderful artist
(second picture)

Monday, February 20, 2012

Open Letter: Suicide and Bulling

Dear Reader,
         There are a lot of people out there whom think killing yourself is the only way out many reasons to think why you should. Bulling, Feeling alone, Feel like you're a burden to others. I've been there. I've wanted to kill myself because, I was bullied my whole life. I always feel alone, I feel like I'm a burden, and because I lost my best friend, and my ex fiancĂ©. But listen to me and listen good. NOTHING AND I MEAN NOTHING, Is worth killing yourself over. Yeah the whole romantic thing with Romeo and Juliet is completely stupid.

          Let me tell you my stories. Not a lot to say. I use to be a prep, when I was little, everyone I thought was my friend was two faced, and I was picked on. I moved to New York where i was the new kid and came from Maryland and got picked on for that. Because I sounded different. Then I started to listen to "emo" music and became a poser scene kid, and got picked on for that. Then I became an emo kid, of course bullied in middle school and high school. Now I'm a goth kid, And what? I'M STILL BULLIED AND LOOKED AT LIKE I SHOULD GO DIE? Oh well then surprise, surprise. I made a best friend I'll call her Frankie (yeah defiantly not her name, better then Macy which she'd kill me for), we changed together and she was the only person I trusted. I plaid a game every day going to her house "wait to cross the street when there were cars coming" yeah, wow. So when I wasn't playing that game I really almost got hit by a car. Anyways, When I was ten, I was Ironically on Deviant-Art and these stupid morons were cyber bulling me,  and I felt like I shouldn't be alive, and so I ran into the kitchen and grabbed MY butcher's knife and came really close to breaking skin, I stopped and thought about my life ahead of me. I thought about my mom and my dad. How sad they would be. I didn't have friends, so it didn't matter, but I stopped. Another time was not too long ago; it was because my ex-boyfriend broke up with me. I loved him, with all I had, I didn't have friends, I felt alone, and like I didn't mean anything to anyone. The real point of this letter is to warn you about teen suicide.

        Every 18 minutes someone kills them-self, or attempts to. There are 24 to 80 suicides a day, 2150 attempts a day. Suicide is one of the top 11 causes of death in the United States. Due to bulling, depression and so on. Why do people bully? To make themselves feel better? How could that possible make you feel better? How would you like it if, a kid in your class said "I've had enough" and you saw/heard that, and thought "oh they are being dramatic" or the i give up thing. And didn't see them for a few days then heard they killed themselves BECAUSE YOU BULLIED THEM. It's not just the Goth kids, or the emo kids, or the scene kids. It's the sports kids too. Because they are fat, or "ugly" everyone is beautiful. Maybe not to you but someone will find the beauty on the inside.

       Beauty on the inside is the most important. Maybe just maybe, someone will finally get the word out. THERE'S A THIN FUCKING LINE BETWEEN WORDS AND WOUNDS. Seriously people! How about you get some self-confidence and learn to love ALL BEAUTY, dark beauty, inner beauty: the important beauty. To the people who feel there's nothing left. If you killed yourself, think about the people you have impacted in your life. The people who love you, the people you love. There's out there. Because, I LOVE YOU. I don't know you, but I love you. What's the point in killing yourself? I would love to know. Nothing is worth it. Life might seem too mean; you get past the bullies, and drama. You do, you just have to try. And realize there are people out there.

If you feel like dying is the only way out, it's not you need to get help. What helps me is express how I feel. Write poems, or stories. I am an artist, I made goals to help me, to give me something to live for. Do you know the story of the koi fish?

Koi fish symbolism came from the Chinese legend of the Dragon Gate where the Koi has triumphantly swam up a waterfall and transformed to a dragon afterward. This is why Koi has become a favorite icon as it stands for a lot of things.

You are just a koi fish swimming in a stream, being pushed back, and one day you'll get to be that dragon. You just have to believe in yourself. You'll swim up that water fall, even though you will have to try your best, I believe in you.

      My name is Alexandra-Leigh Barrett, I have been depressed since I was 9. I found the internet and chat rooms when I was 10. I found something that took me away from all the pain I was feeling. I am glad I left Maryland at 9. I met some of the best friends I've ever met. Kirsty, Brooke, Mortisha, and Andrea. They accepted me for me, and still continue to accept me. If it weren't for them; mostly Andrea, I'd be dead. I love them and I don't think they will ever know how much they mean to me. When I moved back here I became more depressed, until junior year of high school. I realized that I have love around me, Katie, Katreena, Gisella, Kwesi, Jordan, Jeff, Taylor, And more. They are my family. I may not have a deep bond with them anymore. But that happens, you have to try your best to claw your way back in. Point is, when I moved back here, I fell in a deeper depression, until I realized I had these people to love me, and even though freshman and sophomore year I've thought about killing myself, I stopped all those thoughts, because of them.  

Your friends are there, and if you feel you don't have any, message me I'll be your friend. I've been nothing but honest with you. I'm not fake. I will listen to your problems. I've probably been there, I will try to help. My point in all this, is that there will always be someone out there to love you. Family, Friends, people you might not even know who care about you.

I might update this a little later. I hope this helps.
     I know this probably didn't help. But I hope you'll reconsider. I love you. If you die I'll miss you.

Love
 Alexandra-Leigh

[The picture was taken by me, it's also on deviant-art. ]

The Butterfly Project


The Butterfly Project
By Alexandra-Leigh Bailey
There’s this thing, called the butterfly project. The point of this is the awareness of Self-harm. Like cutting and burning. So instead of hurting yourself, draw a butterfly!
Rules!
1. When you feel like you want to cut, scratch, punch yourself, burn etc. take a marker, pen, or sharpies and draw a butterfly on your arm or hand.
2. Name the butterfly after a loved one, or someone that really wants you to get better.
3. You must let the butterfly fade naturally. NO scrubbing it off.
4. If you cut before the butterfly is gone, it flies away. If you don't cut, it stays with you.
5. If you have more than one butterfly, cutting makes all of them fly away.
6. Another person may draw them on you. These butterflies are extra special. Take good care of them.
7. Even if you don’t cut, feel free to draw a butterfly anyways, to show your support. If you do this, name it after someone you know that cuts or is suffering right now, and tell them. It could help.

Facts:
It’s pretty explanatory, the rules explain it pretty well. If you are not one to inflict self harm, then show your support for those who do. I Am a cutter, and self harm becomes addicting, as i may not cut anymore, i am an addict. I will always be one. I hope you will show your support, and help spread the awareness!